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I have been told that “women don’t get promoted in this industry, deal with it and be happy that you even have a job.”Two years ago my band released a single that found some success. Stand beside us and call out those who let us all down and who hurt our friends.But the more success we received, the more one of my male band mates became bitter, jealous, manipulative and verbally abusive towards me. He criticised everything I did – my singing, my songwriting, my bass playing, my guitar playing, my “vanity” i.e. By the end of our first tour, I was completely broken. I tried to stand up for myself but by the end I was so exhausted. To everyone who has a story to share, we hear you and this letter is for you to know that you are not alone.He told me not to tell anyone and threatened that if I did, he would find out and make sure I never had a career as a musician.He then followed that by telling me that if I told anyone not only would I ruin my own life but I would ruin his too. We know the same names that are repeated in unrelated circles.
We will continue to fight together so that one day, we can all work safely in a respectful, inclusive and supportive industry.
The abuse triggered years of struggles with my mental health. I have had managers of bands place their hands on my body when I was asking to interview the band, I’ve been groped multiple times in crowds.
I’ve been told by members of a band that they wanted to “show me something” only to lead me into the bathroom and try to force themselves on me.
I’ve been a musician all my life and wanted to be a DJ for as long as I can remember.
When I was 18 I was hired for odd jobs in a nightclub.